i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize