he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
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Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
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I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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