i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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