Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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