well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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