I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize