Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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