My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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