She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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