More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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