I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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