Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize