There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize