So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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