You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize