i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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