Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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