I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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