Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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