The maid of honor just puked.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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