yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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