is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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