i permit you to call me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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