They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize