note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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