i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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