and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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