You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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