I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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