This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
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I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
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Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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