I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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