So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
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Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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