oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize