Where did you get a picture of my penis
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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