So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
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I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
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We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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