Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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