1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
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Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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