I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
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I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
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If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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