sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize