If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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