i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize