I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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