did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize