I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize