Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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