another moral hangover. fuck.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize