I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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