ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize