I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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