You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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