walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
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so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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