My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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